we all have it. it’s the underlying lies we listen to day in and day out playing out in our heads. the shame enters our heart during one particular event, but we live it out every single day. the harsh words of a friend, a trauma, or even something that happened to us as a child.
it’s all the same. the lies taint the view of how we see ourselves. the message is the same for all of us.
i am not good enough. i need to do more in order to be acceptable. i am not pretty enough, skinny enough. i always mess everything up. it’s not ok to not be ok. i need to have it altogether. i can’t show anyone who i really am because no one will really love me. i need to be strong and i can’t show anyone that i am really weak. i can’t need someone else’s help. i should be able to do it all and with a smile on my face.
the truth is that we all have these lies that attack our very identity. and we would rather live with these lies than tell anyone else our shortcomings. carrying these lies with us, sometimes even to the grave.
we are embarrassed. we would do anything to not talk about these stupid little lies. we are afraid that they just might be true. and so we disconnect from other people. we run. or we blame it on someone else. anything to get away from shame.
let me tell you a little secret from someone who has ran away from shame for a very long time…
if you speak it out… if you tell someone that you really trust… these lies lose their power. because most of them are silly when you actually say them out loud.
for years, and i mean for years. i believed somehow that the car accident and all of the pain that followed was somehow my fault. the way i received treatment was wrong, i should have done something differently. the health problems i struggled with years following my accident… those were all my fault. i somehow deserved it.
now… speaking that out i can see how absolutely ridiculous that sounds. it wasn’t my fault. but that is what i believed. the silly thing is that this one thought made me miserable for years. and now that i am free, i feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
you mean i don’t have to walk around with this stupid silly thought weighing me down? no. and neither do you.
and the first step is speaking it out and recognizing it. sometimes it’s hard to recognize these lies. but if you follow your thoughts and fears, you will get to the root belief. it’s not pretty or easy, but trust me, it will all be worth it.
let go of the fear. speak out your shame. and be free!!!
i know these things are not easy to talk about. trust me. if it was, they would not hold so much power over us for such a long time. but if you are feeling brave and vulnerable, feel free to speak out some of your lies in the comments… i will be sharing more soon about what to do after you discover the lie because that part is important too!!!