Like Breathing.

It’s just like breathing. Easy. Second nature. Something our bodies do.

Only what if… What if your body was not breathing the right way? What if your breathing was off of broken? Then what?

Then you feel very sick. Trust me.

The last month I have been in and out of the ER and the doctor’s office trying to get the help I needed. Every time I went in it was the same story, no one could really tell me what in the heck was going on!

Can I tell you how frustrating that is? The not knowing. The feeling like you are crazy. The desperation you feel of just wanting someone to tell you what in the world is wrong with you but all the tests come back normal. Which of course, is good. At least I wasn’t dying of cancer or something.

I remember thinking, all I know is I can’t breathe.

So most days, it’s been all I can do to just survive. Breathe. Just breathe. Just focus on living. Surviving. And that’s been pretty much all I have been doing for the last month or so.

And there has been plenty of time to choose vulnerable. To learn how to trust in every single breath. I wasn’t living day to day… it was minute by minute, breath by breath.

I know we all talk about how important it is to breathe. But I don’t think I really even understood the importance of breathing.

Breathing is the essence of staying present. When you can’t breathe, you panic. You run. It’s fight or flight.

After some time, we started getting some answers about my health. I will share with you briefly what has been going on. My body got worn down from several different infections and all the antibiotics I had taken. Which caused so much stress that it worsened a breathing problem that I already had. Stress affects our breathing, go figure. And so I was basically hyperventilating on a daily basis, without even knowing I was doing it. I ended up with a a CO2 deficiency. It sounds crazy, but CO2 is very important to the brain. It’s what signals your body to breathe. If you don’t have it, your body doesn’t deliver oxygen to your organs. Bizarre I know.

So… I started breathing training last week. And it’s made all the difference in the world. I feel like a new person. I am now retraining my brain how to breathe. It’s not about deep breathing because that often perpetuates the problem of over breathing. It’s more about slowing down the exhale and letting your body do the work it was meant to do.

Anyways, I have probably had this problem for a very long time. Maybe even before the car accident. But trauma and stress has only made it worse. And learning the correct way to breathe is going to give my body the tools that it needs to heal properly.

Today I feel like a new person. A week ago I couldn’t even drive a car or sit at my computer. I am soooo very thankful. We take so much for granted when it comes to our health don’t we? We take breathing for granted. So I am hoping that I have really turned a corner and I can start getting my life back in order. Even though this last month has been very difficult, I am so glad that because of it, I am learning something that I really needed in order to thrive.

I have a lot of fun stuff to share with you soon!