practical ole me
i used to be the practical one. the one who weighed out my decisions and listened to the voice of reason. within my small group of girlfriends, i was the voice of reason. i remember talking them down from several crazy plans, one of them being a road trip to california. granted we were all in high school and i am pretty sure our parents would have killed us.
i have always been the one to see all of the pieces that make up the whole. every. single. awful. detail that would have to happen in order for a dream to come true. i still battle this mindset in many ways.
i have never been impulsive. i weigh all my decisions with precision then make the most concrete decision. the one most likely to happen. excusing all other crazy dreams as impossible.
i didn’t even know how to dream to be honest.
well lately i have noticed a shift. the more free i become, the crazier the ideas that come through my head. and instead of excusing these ideas right away, i think… what if?
remember my girlfriends… guess who is encouraging them to expand their dreams? guess who is encouraging them to follow their passions and do crazy things? yep, you guessed it. me.
yesterday i got a BIG idea and wrote it all down then sent it off to someone who could help me make it happen. as soon as i hit send on my computer i thought, what in the world am i doing? i am not impulsive and bold. i usually take time to think things through.
it’s like i don’t even recognize myself. who is this confident person that has taken over my life? i don’t know you.
someone asked me over coffee recently, how i got the nerves to contact one of my favorite artists. as i thought about it, i realized something. when you have lost everything and your life has fallen into pieces, you don’t have the same fear that you did before. it’s been weeded out of your heart because you already know that life goes on. you think, what’s the worst that could happen? well it can’t be as bad as what i have walked through. what’s a little rejection?
you start to realize that you have nothing to loose. you start to realize that if you don’t like your life, you have the power to do something about it. and you become that person that you never imagined.