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practical ole me

February 22, 2012
open to the possibility

open

i used to be the practical one. the one who weighed out my decisions and listened to the voice of reason. within my small group of girlfriends, i was the voice of reason. i remember talking them down from several crazy plans, one of them being a road trip to california. granted we were all in high school and i am pretty sure our parents would have killed us.

i have always been the one to see all of the pieces that make up the whole. every. single. awful. detail that would have to happen in order for a dream to come true. i still battle this mindset in many ways.

i have never been impulsive. i weigh all my decisions with precision then make the most concrete decision. the one most likely to happen. excusing all other crazy dreams as impossible.

i didn’t even know how to dream to be honest.

well lately i have noticed a shift. the more free i become, the crazier the ideas that come through my head. and instead of excusing these ideas right away, i think… what if?

remember my girlfriends… guess who is encouraging them to expand their dreams? guess who is encouraging them to follow their passions and do crazy things? yep, you guessed it. me.

yesterday i got a BIG idea and wrote it all down then sent it off to someone who could help me make it happen. as soon as i hit send on my computer i thought, what in the world am i doing? i am not impulsive and bold. i usually take time to think things through.

it’s like i don’t even recognize myself. who is this confident person that has taken over my life? i don’t know you.

someone asked me over coffee recently, how i got the nerves to contact one of my favorite artists. as i thought about it, i realized something. when you have lost everything and your life has fallen into pieces, you don’t have the same fear that you did before. it’s been weeded out of your heart because you already know that life goes on. you think, what’s the worst that could happen? well it can’t be as bad as what i have walked through. what’s a little rejection?

you start to realize that you have nothing to loose. you start to realize that if you don’t like your life, you have the power to do something about it. and you become that person that you never imagined.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. February 22, 2012 10:05 am

    Good post Wendy. I have those same feelings simply due to the fact that 40 is approaching.
    It is pretty freeing really. Good for you for being bold and jumping in. xo

  2. February 22, 2012 10:40 am

    Hi Wendy, I relate to this post as well, from having had a chronic illness when young, and both of my parents being in Heaven now.

    In my case, what does it matter if a poem is rejected? And with our blogs, we reach our readers directly.

    I too was very organized. Perhaps these skills from our pasts are simply intuitive now, supporting our work. When I began my blog, my old teaching skills seemed to help me progress faster than I might have otherwise. It is a mystery in God’s hands–how good grows out of the hard hard years. Thank you!

    Blessings to you and your readers, Ellen

    • February 22, 2012 11:33 am

      so interesting to see how chronic illness and pain can influence our lives. it is just a mystery how god uses those things to bring life and blessing. thanks for sharing ellen!

  3. February 22, 2012 10:46 am

    This is so timely a post, my friend, as I am trying so hard to dream big. I think I’ve forgotten how, though now that I think about it, I’m not sure I ever did. All my dreams for myself have been pretty small…

    Funny, because I was always the one who said “what if?”

  4. Merrill Ann Gonzales permalink
    February 22, 2012 1:15 pm

    Simply stunning. I am so thankful for the wonder of what you do. In gratitude, Merrill

  5. cindy permalink
    February 22, 2012 10:29 pm

    Mmmm, I love this journal page and post!!!! Dream big dream or live a small life!!!!

  6. ann dickey permalink
    February 23, 2012 11:20 am

    your words hit home. truly well said. lovely, lovely. lovely.

  7. February 25, 2012 11:21 am

    This has happened to me too…after going through ending a marriage I thought and wanted to be forever. Now, after wading through that dark time, and becoming healthier, I’m dreaming bigger. I’m stepping out there and risking letting my art be seen. Scary and exciting.

    Can’t wait to hear more about your dream!

    • February 26, 2012 9:00 am

      thank you for sharing joyce!!! it’s amazing what can come out of these rocky places of our lives.

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