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i can’t not do art

April 29, 2011

mixed media painting

a lesson in passion.

don’t ask yourself what the world needs. ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do that. because what the world needs is people who have come alive. – harold thurman whitman

when i wake up in the morning, i am thinking about all things mod podge, spray inks, altered books and canvases. throughout the morning i am waiting. waiting for naptime and the moment i get to escape into my studio. if all is quiet, i might escape for a few moments to play with paint. but not soon after i will be followed by trouble who wants to finger paint in my mess. regardless, i am giddy to explore new techniques in different ways. i literally can’t wait to express myself in paint and gesso. when i go to bed at night, i am thinking about creative dreams. making a living selling my art. touching many women with my art. teaching art from the heart. showing others the healing properties of art.

i have never felt this way about anything else in my life. i can’t help myself. art flows in my veins. i have a one track brain and it includes stencils and stamping and acrylic ink. i am always looking for the next best technique. i watch mixed media videos online. i search blogs for inspiration. when i am not painting, i am online doing business stuff. networking. blogging. twittering. when i am not online, i am taping myself doing art. me, who hates being on camera.

i just can’t not do art. and i just can’t not share it with you. and it all comes down to this. my life has been permanently altered by art. it comes from deep places, the very broken places of my soul. and when i think about my journey and where i was two years ago, i cry. i cry out of gratefulness. i don’t think i ever could have imagined living such a beautiful hope filled life.

i feel so lucky  blessed sometimes to be on this path. it isn’t very many people who get to even find what they are passionate about. in fact, i know many people who are just struggling to make it through the day. who have no reason to get up in the morning. who are just living for the weekend. it’s kind of the norm. in fact, i can probably count on one hand the people i know who are actually following their big crazy dreams. why is that? are we all so scared?

i used to be one of those people. so how did i get here? i experienced a major trauma. a car accident rearranged my brain and i was lost. and it soaked into my soul. i was at the lowest of the low. i had lost all hope. and then i found mixed media and my life slowly began to turn around. i started to create and everything in my being said yes. yes. this is what i was created to do. how was i missing this my whole entire life?

but if i were to tell the truth. my truth. i wouldn’t have been able to contain this passion if i hadn’t had my heart broken into a thousand pieces. i know many of you are in that place right now. the place where you feel like you can’t go one more day. your life feels so stuck that you think that you will never get through this season. i know dear friend. trust me i know. i lived there in that pit for six years. just crying out to god. feeling completely forsaken.

so what do you do when you find yourself in that place? you take one step closer to hope. and you keep going. you let yourself be vulnerable and let yourself dream. you let go of disappointments. you follow your heart. you stop believing the lies and chose to believe the truth. you let yourself grieve. and you learn to be gentle on yourself.

my husband and i have this philosophy. you can always tell the ones who have been through the fire. the fire meaning difficulties, heartache and loss. they have a way about them. a passion for life. a scar upon their soul. an understanding. life lessons that no one can take away from them.

so i know it’s hard to think that you will ever be in a different place. but you will. just envision yourself on the other side of the fire. how will you be different? if you surrender to the fire, you will find your passion. you will find that one thing that keeps you up at night. and all else won’t matter.

and then you can’t not do what you were meant to do.

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. daveconrey permalink
    April 29, 2011 8:26 am

    You’ve totally inspired a new design. Not sure when I’ll get to it, busy with show stuff and all, but I will have it done and I’ll share it when I’m done.

    • April 29, 2011 8:48 am

      that’s awesome dave! i can’t wait to see it. good luck getting everything ready for the show.

  2. April 29, 2011 11:28 am

    You not only possess the gift of being a great artist you, also, are a terrific story teller! Keep up the good work!

  3. joanne permalink
    April 29, 2011 7:45 pm

    It’s like you know I’ve had a really bad week and your speaking to me.Thank you.

  4. April 29, 2011 7:57 pm

    Lovely.

  5. May 1, 2011 8:49 pm

    Coming straight from the heart… love it! :]
    Long live art!!!

  6. May 2, 2011 10:30 am

    This post touched my heart! I feel much the same many days. Last night, after watching Pres. Obama share the news about Osama bin Laden and remembering all of the pain of the 9/11 attacks 10 years ago when I was a college kid, all I could think to do was to open my art journal and spill the whirlwind of emotions and memories out on the page in paint and ink and imagery. I am working on this page this morning, and am feeling a lifting of the burden. We need to process the happenings in the outside world through our art, and thank God that we can!

  7. May 6, 2011 3:32 am

    Thank you for sharing.

  8. May 10, 2011 10:43 am

    Art heals and thats a fact, great blog, thanks for sharing.

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