learning to breathe
these last few weeks i have been struggling with some health issues. i don’t share very often about these things because they still feel so raw and i am still finding my way through them. i try not to blog about things that i don’t have perspective on just yet.
these issues stem from living in emergency so long. it starts to take a toll on your body. food intolerances and intestinal issues are not easy to live with. i am still in the healing process. it’s not easy, living in the waiting. letting go of fears. listening to my body and giving myself grace.
grace. rest. hope.
changing your brain patterns are not easy when you are used to anxiety and fight or flight. feeling sick doesn’t help either.
it is all related, my stress, my sickness, my diet. a vicious cycle.
and yet, even in the midst of all of these things i am learning to find the treasures in each day. this is not easy for me. when i have a bad day it is so easy for me to just hold on for dear life and wait for it to pass.
so i am learning to breathe. to stop in these crazy moments when life seems too much. those are the days that i most need to give thanks. it is the only way i can make it through.
i just wanted to give you a glimpse into some of my struggles that i face. i want to be vulnerable. i don’t have everything figured out. and that finding beauty in the midst of hardships is really one of the most difficult things to do.
this might be the most important lesson i have learned from my car accident. that god can bring beauty out of ashes. so while i wait for these health issues to resolve themselves, i can find beauty in the every day.
yesterday was a bad day for me. i wasn’t feeling so hot. but i continued to give thanks for all of my gifts. the beautiful spring breeze. butterfly kisses. i listened to my body. i rested. and when my husband came home from a long day of working, he brought me flowers. it was such a gift!