short term memory loss
this post is part of a series i am starting in which i will document life after my car accident. it has been a very long journey to get to where i am now and i hope that through sharing some of these stories that you will get a peek into my life. but i also am hoping to reach out to other people who are walking through something similar. so if you know anyone who has been in a car accident, please recommend these posts to them. this is the story of how my life was turned upside down after a car accident.
it was a frequent occurrence. i would find myself in conversations with people on a regular basis completely and utterly lost. don’t you remember, we talked about this last week? you said, this and this and this. the first time it happened, it was not a big deal. but after numerous times, it felt kind of scary. you have to understand, this was not just being forgetful like i forgot to call my mom, or i forgot to water the plants, or i forgot to put the milk back in the refrigerator. this is a whole chunk of time missing from my brain. it isn’t there. no where to found. not something that you forget, then remember. you can’t remember ever. and it was scary to me. it was like little parts of my life never happened because my brain blocked it out.
i used to be good at the details, before the car accident. this new scatterbrained and often displaced memory was something that other people dealt with, not me. i used to always remember my appointments. i didn’t even need to write them down. i was the dependable one, the trustworthy one, the one you could always count on. not anymore. and i was not used to it all.
i can laugh at this day now, but it was not funny at all back then. it was one of my many forgotten or confused appointments. i had a massage at three. my massage therapist called and changed it to four. not a problem. i can do that. but it still all got mixed around in my brain. so what time you think i showed up? well you are right, three o’clock. i fell to pieces right then and there. i totally had a mental breakdown. i did not understand what was going on with my brain. and i was in such a tremendous amount of pain i could hardly see straight. my massage therapist saw the distress in my face and made a comfortable place for me to rest while i was waiting. and this was just one of many days. my brain was broken.
the worst part was that i did not understand what was going on. you would think that i would have gotten help for a brain injury. but i didn’t even know that i had a brain injury. i know that sounds funny, but when your brain isn’t working, you can’t even figure out that you need help. looking back, i wish there was someone to help me. even just understanding what was going on would have made a huge difference. and it would be years before i would find a brain therapist…